Grumpy Old Wizards Read online

  Grumpy Old Wizards

  John O’Riley

  Copyright 2013 by John O’Riley

  No part of the book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Cover Artist / Stephanie Nelson.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Grumpy Old Wizards

  by John O’Riley

  Chapter 1

  Josephine hid the rush of anticipation with a practiced air of stoicism as she clutched her half-finished mug of coffee and watched her friend relinquish an ace of spades. Helen and Alice had already accumulated a higher score than her at this particular hand of rummy but she intended on somehow acquiring all four aces. She currently held two and one was now waiting for her in the discard pile. She took a sip of her coffee then carefully set it down on the dining room table. For now, she chose to ignore the ace even though it drew her attention like a blazing beacon.

  The three elderly women had been friends since childhood and had weathered many storms together. Ever since Helen and Alice had retired, the three women made a point of spending every morning playing rummy or Parcheesi. Josephine had waited until she had reached the big eighty before she had left the workforce. Their condominiums, located in a quiet retirement community, were on the same floor and they usually woke up at an ungodly hour like most wizards and humans their age.

  “This is the worst hand I’ve ever had in my life,” Josephine said.

  Alice’s lips curved in a teasing grin. “I seriously doubt that.”

  Unlike her two peers, Josephine had smooth youthful skin and long black hair. Even though she was eighty-four, she could easily pass for a thirty-year-old thanks to the side effect of slow aging that all category six wizards possessed. Her two friends were merely category three with average abilities so they had aged normally. Being a category six came with many drawbacks such as the requirement for government consulting work. As soon as Josephine had turned eighteen, the police had started calling her in to help. Category six wizards could tune into subtle energies that other wizards couldn’t which made them valuable in a wide range of investigative specialties.

  Josephine had worked with many detectives over the course of her life and closed countless cases. Over the years, it had grown tiring to come home after a ten-hour day from her full-time work only to be called in to the police station. Or even worse, to receive a summons after midnight when she was fast asleep only to start her normal job at eight in the morning. Another disadvantage for category six wizards was that they were so powerful the government regulated their magic and only allowed them to cast very low-key spells.

  To ensure they complied with the law, they were required to wear an aequitas enchantment. Josephine currently wore a topaz ring containing an aequitas enchantment which turned green if she started to work with magic that the government deemed too potent. At that point, the ring gave her less than a moment to decrease her flow of energy before a knock out spell would activate. It made Josephine feel like she was wearing a shock collar. She had never had any serious problems controlling her magic and believed that the government’s mandate for category six wizards was complete and utter rubbish.

  “I need more coffee,” Alice announced.

  “I’ll have to make some more. I took the last of it earlier,” Josephine said.

  She slapped down a card on the discard pile to complete her turn then went to the kitchen. She quickly poured the grounds then set the maker to brew. Josephine returned to the living room where her two friends were waiting for her.

  “Is it my turn?” Josephine asked.

  “Yes,” Alice confirmed.

  Josephine frowned at the discard pile and she could no longer help herself. “Is someone hogging the aces or what?”

  “Aha! You’ve got two of the aces!” Alice crowed. “I knew it!”

  “I do not!” Josephine said indignantly.

  “Then you won’t mind if I take the entire pile in my next turn,” Alice quipped.

  Josephine regarded her coolly then decided she’d better not press her luck. She grabbed the discards so she could play the aces.

  “I rest my case.” Alice grinned with satisfaction.

  Josephine played the three aces and tried to decide which card she should let go. The phone rang and Josephine crossed the room to answer it.

  “I’ve got a serial killer on the loose,” Detective Alex Riley said in his typical brusque tone. “He’s using magic to kill his victims and I need you to I.D. him.”

  Most wizards who committed crimes used an ignotus enchantment to eliminate virtually all traces of psychic energy at the crime scene which made psychometry impossible unless you were a category six wizard.

  “I’ll be there within the hour,” Josephine promised.

  “I need you here in fifteen minutes,” he said tersely. “Are you ready for the address?”

  “Just a second.” Josephine opened the desk drawer and pulled out a pen. There was already a notepad waiting for her on top of the desk. “Okay. I’m ready.” She jotted down the address then promised to head over to the crime scene as soon as humanly possible.

  Josephine let her two friends know about the murder case and they left the condo. She grabbed her purse and made her way to her silver sedan. One of the things she hated about her consulting work was that it usually took place late at night or early in the morning and she got lost easily in the dark. Josephine glanced at her watch. It was only a few minutes after four in the morning. She hoped she could find this place. Josephine ended up making several wrong turns but arrived at the crime scene in a relatively short period of time. There were two police cars parked in front of the blue house. The nearest street lamp was half a block away so the blue and crimson strobing lights offered the main source of illumination. The house had a small, overgrown and untended lawn and lacked a driveway. Josephine made her way over to the front door and a police officer escorted her inside.

  Forensics was already gathering evidence and Josephine’s twenty-eight-year-old grandson was speaking with his colleague, Alex Riley, at the far end of the living room. Alex was a heavyset man with brown hair, a mustache, and green eyes. He had dark circles under his eyes and hadn’t noticed her entrance. Josephine’s grandson, Jake, was rapidly taking down notes as his colleague continued to discuss the case. Jake turned and smiled at his grandmother who waved back cheerfully.

  “Hi, Grandma,” he said.

  “Hi, sweetie.” She threw him a warm smile.

  “It’s about time you showed up,” Riley admonished her.

  “I came as quickly as I could.” Josephine narrowed her eyes at him with annoyance. Her gaze cut to the victim who was lying beside a coffee table face-down on the floor. She was a young woman with long blond hair wearing a blue t-shirt and jeans. Josephine couldn’t see any marks on her so she wondered how she’d died.

  Alex’s expression was dour. “A surge of power was forced through her hand chakras. It may be some sort of enchantment but we can’t pick anything up with our scanners.”

  “So the enchantment used to kill this poor woman was obliterated along with the rest of the psychometric energy in the room,” Josephine said.

  “The entire house is clean of trace energies,” Alex informed her.

  “I’m sure there’s something here I can read.” Josephine’s gaze swept over the room before she focused her attention back on Riley. Josephine opened her sens
es to the energies surrounding her and was startled to find it was almost completely bereft of anything at all. The wizard who’d done this had employed an excellent ignotus enchantment which meant the individual was most likely a category four or five. This troubled Josephine just a bit because it was extremely rare for such powerful wizards to be serial killers. She noticed Alex shifting impatiently but he didn’t interrupt her work. Josephine traced the fragments of energy with her mind and reached out to one of them. Vague impressions wafted across the back of her mind but nothing substantial. She remained focused and after a moment, she saw the victim lying unconscious in her chair. Josephine saw the vision through the mind of the killer so she didn’t see any images of him or her.

  Josephine continued to work with the psychometric energy that was scattered throughout the room without much success which began to frustrate her. She was currently tapped into the victim who was chopping carrots in the kitchen. The vision only lasted a second and was replaced by vague and meaningless impressions. Josephine concentrated harder and saw the silhouette of a man approaching. The image abruptly vanished but she knew she’d caught a glimpse of the killer. She had to get that vision back. Josephine’s hands clenched into fists and power flowed through her. She tapped the energy tendril that contained the psychic impression she sought and heard her grandson gasp with alarm. A gust of hot air whipped into the room.

  “Grandma! Your ring!” Jake exclaimed.

  She glanced down at her topaz ring and saw that it had turned green. Damn! She had to stop the flow of power she was currently channeling. Josephine relaxed and began blocking the magic that coursed through her. The hot wind abruptly died down and the ring turned blue. Alex stood stiff as a board and his green eyes widened with apprehension. The two forensics officers had also backed away from her so they now took up positions at the far side of the room. Josephine couldn’t blame them for their fear but the Disaster that had killed so many had happened almost fifty years ago. There were safeguards in place from preventing anything like that from occurring again. If Josephine had lost control for another couple of seconds, the aequitas enchantment in her ring would have knocked her out.

  “You can relax now, Riley,” Josephine said in a reassuring tone. “You’re safe.”

  Alex’s tension eased visibly and his frown returned as his face flushed with embarrassment.

  “Were you able to come up with anything useful?” he asked.

  “No, but I’m not done yet,” she said.

  “Yes, you are.”

  “I still need more time to tap the rest of the trace energies,” Josephine stated.

  “Are you sure you’re not going to blow anything up?” Alex fretted.

  “I’ll be fine.” Josephine leveled a confident and reassuring gaze at him.

  She tapped the few energy fragments she hadn’t yet reached. More impressions danced across her mind but few substantial pieces of information were discovered. She sighed with disappointment.

  “The killer is a male. His mind feels very cold and calculating. He hungers for power and he’s very disciplined,” Josephine told them.

  Alex and Jake scribbled down notes on their pads.

  “What else do you’ve got?” Alex asked.

  “Nothing. That’s all I picked up,” Josephine said regretfully.

  “I don’t think you’re trying hard enough,” Alex stated in a brusque tone. “There has to be something more you can tell us.”

  Josephine arched a bemused brow at him. “I saw you accidentally dropping the sausages you made for breakfast on the kitchen floor but you were running late so you ate them anyway.”

  “She’s lying. That never happened.” Alex’s face was flushed with embarrassment as he spoke to his colleague.

  “I believe you,” Jake said in a distracted tone as he jotted down what his grandmother had said.

  “What in the hell are you writing that down for?” Alex asked with exasperation.

  “Just in case it proves useful in the future.” Jake’s eyes gleamed with amusement.

  Josephine threw Alex an inquisitive look. “Is this the second or third victim of this particular serial killer?”

  “The third.”

  “Do you have any idea what kind of enchantment is used to kill the victims?” Josephine asked.

  “We don’t have any idea,” Jake replied. “There was no physical damage to the bodies except for power surges in their minor and major chakras.”

  Josephine’s eyes widened with surprise. “That’s exactly how everyone died in the Disaster.”

  “We can’t jump to conclusions,” Jake said swiftly.

  “Josephine, I think you’ve done everything you can.” Alex shot her a moody scowl. “We’ll let you know when you can be of further assistance.”

  “Thank you, detective,” she said.

  She gave her grandson a brief hug goodbye and left the house.

  Chapter 2

  Josephine and Alice chatted amiably as they strolled through the aisles in the grocery store while Helen zipped along in a motorized shopped cart. Helen accidentally bumped into a display of cereal as she turned a corner. The boxes jiggled precariously but none of them fell over. A man in his early twenties dodged the electric shopping cart and barely missed being rammed as Helen whizzed past him.

  Josephine stopped her cart a short distance from a couple of women who were blocking the half and half. Josephine held her hand out and two cartons of half and half slowly drifted out and dropped into her cart. As a category six wizard, she could use telekinesis without a premade enchantment. The two women completely ignored the floating cartons since virtually everyone was a wizard and this sort of thing happened all the time.

  “This is nice,” Josephine said.

  “What’s nice?” Alice asked.

  “That we’re still such close friends after all these years.” Josephine leveled a warm smile at both Alice and Helen. “I’m so grateful that you’re both in my life.”

  “You’re so sweet,” Helen said.

  “I feel the same way,” Alice added.

  Alice turned her attention to the canned soup and picked out a couple cans of chicken noodle.

  “I think that’s everything, isn’t it?” Helen asked.

  “I believe so,” Josephine said slowly as she surveyed the items in her cart.

  “I need some more macaroni and cheese,” Alice announced.

  “Of course.” Josephine pushed off and led them to the appropriate aisle.

  Alice grabbed about a dozen boxes and dropped them into her cart. Macaroni and cheese was one of her favorite foods although Josephine couldn’t stand the stuff.

  “Okay, I’m ready,” Alice said cheerfully.

  They were heading towards the end of the aisle when Robert, Josephine’s ex-husband, turned the corner. Robert was a seventy-eight-year-old, category five with gray thinning hair and a mustache. His skin was dotted with liver spots and he had piercing green eyes and flabby, sagging skin on his formerly muscular forearms. Josephine had divorced him shortly after she’d caught him cheating on her. She had made a valiant effort to try to forgive him but she just couldn’t trust him after that. During the divorce proceedings, Robert had fought hard to ensure she would leave their marriage penniless. Afterwards, Josephine had given him the unflattering nickname of Spot because of his doglike behavior. Robert Miller stopped dead in his tracks when he realized he’d happened upon his ex-wife. He wore a green t-shirt and jeans which he’d hitched up to his stomach.

  “Hello, Spot,” Josephine said coolly. “What brings you here?”

  Robert turned his cart around and started to walk away. Josephine flicked her wrist and his pants dropped to his ankles. She sensed a rush of power as he brought his shield up. He quickly buttoned his pants and secured the belt buckle. Helen backed up her electric shopping cart so that she was a short distance behind Josephine. Alice was off to the side but positioned in between the two ex’s. She eyed them both warily.

&n
bsp; “You’re pathetic,” he said disdainfully.

  “Go suck a lemon,” Josephine retorted.

  “Go to hell.”

  Robert turned and pushed his shopping cart away.

  “That’s right. Get lost, Spot!” Josephine called out sharply.

  They returned to their homes and Josephine unpacked her groceries. Her mind wandered as she thought about Jake and the case she had worked on this morning. She hadn’t spent much time with him lately. Josephine decided she’d do something nice for him. She baked a death by chocolate cake which she brought over to his home. He had given her a key to his small, white house because she took care of his plants and kept an eye on things for him whenever he took a vacation or went on a weekend trip.

  Jake loved palm trees so his front lawn had four of them and a yard service agency sent someone once a week so his lawn was always well-manicured. Josephine stepped inside his house and set the cake down in the kitchen. After that, she brewed some coffee and waited for him to arrive. Sometimes, he ran a bit late but never by too much. She inhaled the aroma of freshly brewed coffee as she turned on the television. She changed the channel to watch the news and lost track of time. When Josephine heard the key in the lock of the front door, she stood up to greet her grandson. Jake was only mildly surprised to see her because these visits weren’t uncommon and he enjoyed them.

  “So how’s my handsome young man doing?” Josephine strode over and gave him a warm hug.

  “Fine. How are you?” Jake grinned at her.

  “I’m old and tired,” Josephine said. “Other than that, I’m great. I baked some death by chocolate cake for you.”

  “Sounds wonderful.” Jake said appreciatively. “I enjoyed your visit to the crime scene this morning. Did you do anything else interesting today?”

  “I ran into Spot while grocery shopping.” Josephine told him.

  “What happened?” Jake’s brown eyes twinkled with anticipation and amusement.

  “I made his pants fall down,” Josephine admitted with a sheepish laugh. “I suppose I should be above that kind of thing but I can’t help myself sometimes.”